Separation is completion

Sometimes, the most import things might be last thing we are willing to look at, guess this is too hurtful to face it? Guess this is too huge for our small ego mind? In my point of view, it is because the most important things mostly related to the most biggest pain we had. It is non-sense, nothing make sense, nothing linked, and totally no clue WHY. Until one day, my heart, body, mind and emotion are all fed up at a certain level, and can't help to seek the right path, direction, things to go and do.

If you are honest enough to yourself, you must reach your brightest path. I am frank, rebel (I just like 100% frank and simple, rules bullshit  me a lot, this is how I think about rebel.), truth seeker, truly aware of my feeling and also the outer world, these makes me totally sensitive, and I cannot hide my intuition. So that finally I am here, to type this article to express my little feeling of my journey that I had in this weekend. Big thanks to my humble and beloved teacher- Ms. T.

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Spiritual thing might be not a common things in Hong Kong, and clearly it is not a mainstream in this commercial world... (I do not want to say this...). So most of my time I just hide it, because I saw some strange reactions and my inner side was not mature enough to handle this ego world, judgement etc, I could not explain myself then I gave up. I back to the normal side, got my full time job, keep changing job, because I could not find any fulfilment, I forced myself to accept my job but I was so lost... I even cry everyday and I found out later that my team-mate can see my sad face clearly, how embarrassing ( but really, thank you for the attention I had, even tho it is so little ).

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I am not saying I am special, I am so special to not working as a normal person, I can, but I am empty. And if you have watched ''The Benjamin Button'', please try to get the meaning and be aware of the ending part- ''Some people is born to....'' 

I feel like I am at my half part of my life, and if I still could not really face my truth and admit it, I will be regret (after I have experienced another very painful surgery and some personal issues, I realized life is REALLY damn short). I listen to my teacher, my message, my heart, follow my feeling, my inner compass, and keep my space clear, filled with light and those people I choose, most of the time I stay alone to reflect, I don't need anything to fill my emptiness, loneliness is the best medicine to cure my emptiness, I commit to myself, no rubbish, only truth, even tho it is hard to handle, I lost some ''friends'' but I trust this is meant to be, no coincidence, I aimed to make this happen. I value my time, myself, my energy and choose who I would like to share my caring and love. I slowly rest up, still pretty harsh for me but better than nothing, I am grateful.

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I may not have 100 good friends, some of them maybe think that I am a bitch, but it does not matter, because I love myself the most, I need myself more, no one can take myself away from me. I am not gonna let them take my power away, this is not free. 

I forgot how and when I told myself to back to my spiritual side, and admit that I really want to be a healer, I really forgot. God leads me, I listen and follow the message I had from my dream without noticed it, all the things just happened so naturally. Even myself, I cannot explain every details but I just allow this happened to me, I am just in the river, let them flow me to where I should be.

Jump into another new again, because I had to. I had my very first brand new spiritual workshop this weekend, which I don't think I will take it before. I open my door, then the divine offers me what I have to take.

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I bring my tarot card with me everywhere now, in case, I need it if I meet someone who might need some advices or need some lights. Tarot card is not a game, it is a tool to allow me to see the truth, truth will be spoken through me, message will be shown to me and then let me show to the people. It is a treasure. 

Everything has a spirit, this is not meaning a ghost here, I mean the energy, the soul. I am SO glad to meet my power animal and spirit teacher these two days, I solved my problem, found my answer which have been bothering, hurting me for all these years. No joke.

I have no clue why me to experienced such a hurtful separation, this affecting my whole life.... till now, even everything is getting better and I am protected but still, I lost my senses of belonging, and I just had no clue why I am here?????????

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I asked my main question today which I did not planned, I did not even thought about it, I did not prepared for it, I swear for it. But something just bump into my mind and Ms. T suggested I should ask, then I give a try.

Pardon me I could not share the whole story as I have to protect myself, but, this made me cried and crushed my heart in a good way. The answer I got is- The separation is needed. I better experience the separation earlier, there are a lot of separations in the future. Separation is completion.

This perfectly explained my whole story, no more no less.

I want to stay, but I know I could not, it is extremely for me to accept this fact, but I can understand.

I am not so ready to write up my feeling of my future right now, but I have some ideas already. I am chosen, and I chose to accept it. I am glad I know my mission clearly now, no more uncertain, no more unsure, no more ego....

I welcome my spirit teacher, power animal, friends and teachers, of course my family. All the pain and tears, love and hate, time and life.

THANK YOU.

There is no separation, but completion.  

Love you all.